Today, I leave on an adventure that has been years in the pipeline. I will be travelling the world solo. The scenic spots and buildings I will observe on the way will be an added bonus. However, I am travelling for the people I will met, the friends I will re-connect with and the painful growth that is bound to happen along the way.
High school was the first time I caught a glimpse of depression. Before traveling overseas for a few months, I felt the need to leave with a clean slate and pave the way for the new me. I imagined to come back as a new person, with a new outlook on life.
So I wrote, I wrote a letter to all those around me, to thank them, to apologise, and to leave the past in the past.
I came back that summer unchanged. Life went back to its mundane routine and feeling of humiliation crawled through my mind.
Sure, I was young and did not understand the anomalies that came with change, but it is something that I still struggle with a decade on.
Our broken pieces, scattered in more places and people that we would like to accept; they are fragments on their own, however, they are what make up our whole selves. We are whole only with every piece, every part of history we want to erase, all the mistakes we regret and every person we want to forget.
A decade on
Today as I board my one way flight and allow fate to take over, I am no longer leaving my past life behind. But embracing all that has happened to me and allowing it to help me grow in knowledge and maturity.
I am looking forward to how this journey will strengthen the connections with those who I leave behind. I am also excited to share the stories and photos of all the adventures I will embark on.
Most importantly, my leaving has been a reminder of the blessings I have in my life. Especially the special people in my life that I am lucky enough to call my friends.
“It is good to have an end to journey toward, but it is the journey that matters in the end.” – Ernest Hemingway