I am wired.
To give, to give, to give but not to take.
To think mistakes do not happen. All accidents are punished.
To love everything around me but not love myself.
Do not, do not, do not.
I am brainwashed.
That life is black and white.
Every sin will take you to hell.
Every wrong will earn you abuse, a belt, a jandle, chilli forced down the throat.
A child with no pain nor worries was not how I was raised.
Bruises, pain, humiliation, loss of reputation.
I am told I am nothing without a man.
To do as I am told.
To be quiet and tame – not to be outspoken.
Memories of wrong doings drench every thought.
I am “different”.
I am not human.
I am to listen, to do what I am told.
I am not good enough. Ever.
I am never first choice.
Like a robot – I am controlled.