Sometimes, it is hard to explain how depression feels like, those who have not experienced it, find it hard to know what to say and what to do. Some forget that this can become someones daily life. For those who are going through this, don’t forget that you’re not alone, there are many hiding behind the walls that society has created for people like us.
I’ve learnt this new language,
I became fluent when everything around me shattered , and I gained more baggage
I learnt to speak the same wavelength, the same tone, the same lullabies as those with similar luggage
Society has built walls around people like us, many broke them down when their bottles imploded
Sharing the same fears of being judged and misunderstood and being left stranded
Treated like fools, our sense of belonging diminishes and the positive words we know stop following the rules.
But this language, it’s taught me the meaning of the darkest metaphors.
Its filtered my friends from my enemies and taught me when to back down from wars.
Those who speak this language find difficulty in explaining the words in it’s vocabulary, as they are defined through life and not a dictionary
Many do not know the definition of anxiety, depression and suicide.
The constant headache of thoughts that trickle down your spine until you are numb from trauma.
The thoughts of unworthiness that hijack each cell you own and convince you there is no happiness in a world full of drama
The unsettling fear of the unknown that forces you to wish every second of your life away. And hope that you would just decay
To some these are just words.
Words they are unable to define or feel or understand.
But to me, they are a few words that shape my day, my being and everything in my life that is out of hand.