I no longer feel much on this day. Other than a little numb. Sometimes a little lost in a world that does not exist.
Oh isn’t the world rather humorous.
It has been six months since I was writing a blog post about my first month of travel. The sights I saw, the people who made the journey of life special and all the great ice cream and mangos I had eaten.
I had written about my mental breakdowns, the difficulty of being surrounded by strangers and the reality of solo travel.
Yet here I am, recollecting the journey that cut my two year adventure short, and forced me to come home after five weeks.
Today, I leave on an adventure that has been years in the pipeline. I will be travelling the world solo. The scenic spots and buildings I will observe on the way will be an added bonus. However, I am travelling for the people I will met, the friends I will re-connect with and the painful growth that is bound to happen along the way.
The thing with pain, is no one else knows how it feels. How it affects each one of us differently. How it strips away our joy and memories and leaves us with nothing. Continue reading “Two years of Melancholy”
Depression. You can liken him to an imaginary friend. To everyone else, you are crazy but depression to me, he is as real as it gets.
The world was my oyster, graduate of an Engineering Honours Degree, started a new job, a new life in Tauranga, I had great friends around me. I was happy. I thought I was happy. Everything going for me. That’s what I thought.
For those who do not know what Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is, then do not try to decipher the meaning as the name does not signify what the disorder really is. Another name for it that is a bit more fitting is Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder (EUPD). In a nutshell it is a disorder that has a lot to do with not being able to regulate emotions. If you want to read a bit more about it, you can do that here, or alternatively you can watch a video here.