Oh isn’t the world rather humorous.
It has been six months since I was writing a blog post about my first month of travel. The sights I saw, the people who made the journey of life special and all the great ice cream and mangos I had eaten.
I had written about my mental breakdowns, the difficulty of being surrounded by strangers and the reality of solo travel.
Yet here I am, recollecting the journey that cut my two year adventure short, and forced me to come home after five weeks.
Today, I leave on an adventure that has been years in the pipeline. I will be travelling the world solo. The scenic spots and buildings I will observe on the way will be an added bonus. However, I am travelling for the people I will met, the friends I will re-connect with and the painful growth that is bound to happen along the way.
The thing with pain, is no one else knows how it feels. How it affects each one of us differently. How it strips away our joy and memories and leaves us with nothing. Continue reading “Two years of Melancholy”
Sometimes, it is hard to explain how depression feels like, those who have not experienced it, find it hard to know what to say and what to do. Some forget that this can become someones daily life. For those who are going through this, don’t forget that you’re not alone, there are many hiding behind the walls that society has created for people like us.
Trigger Warning – Suicide.
Before you read this, please know I am in a much better place now. This was written a few months ago, when staying alive was a battle I fought daily. I wanted to share this to remind people that there are two sides to the story, suicide is something that fragments every part of our being into believing it is the only solution. Right at that moment, it sure doesn’t feel like there is another answer.
This poem was written on the couch of a friend’s in Wellington, having pushed away yet another friend the night before, I realised fear is the controlling emotion in my relationships. So this is for all the friends I have scared away, the ones I distance myself from and those who I do not let in too close.
It comes in waves, like a tsunami, destroying everything in its way.
Scared. Controlled. Confused. Lost. Continue reading “Tsunami”
Depression. You can liken him to an imaginary friend. To everyone else, you are crazy but depression to me, he is as real as it gets.
The world was my oyster, graduate of an Engineering Honours Degree, started a new job, a new life in Tauranga, I had great friends around me. I was happy. I thought I was happy. Everything going for me. That’s what I thought.
I am wired.
To give, to give, to give but not to take.
To think mistakes do not happen. All accidents are punished.
To love everything around me but not love myself. Continue reading “Instilled”